Things I Wish I Understood Sooner

Someone once said, since we only have one life it’s impossible to live through all of the joys and sorrows it has to offer. Though I would never discourage anyone from trying, I believe there is wisdom in learning from others’ mistakes or victories in hopes of bypassing the hard times and striving to attain the good things in life.

With this said, let me save some grief and headache by dispelling some of my common myths from my young adulthood that I wish I would’ve known or understood sooner.

1) Bad Things Happen To Good People: Even though you prioritize health and do all the right things, you can still get cancer, be a victim of sexual abuse, scandal, divorce, death, or suffer from a heart attack, etc. Lesson: Sometimes clichés do contain truth and shouldn’t be brushed off.

2) The World Isn’t Fair! Solomon, one of the wisest Kings in Scripture, once said in observation to life, “The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.”

Just because you were a 4.0 young academic who was teacher’s pet, you may still be unemployed and actively seeking career guidance from the local temp agency. I’m just saying.

3) A Lot Of Times You Do Know Best: Somehow with time you seem to question yourself more, as if you become diluted and core beliefs can be changed. You begin to wonder if your childhood faith and standards are still applicable to growing up. I wish someone told me sooner to stick with my gut and the things I knew to be good or true. With culture and circumstances changing every month it’s important to stand strong in that which you know to be true and to not back down with the winds of change or newness.

4) You Don’t Have To Excel In All Things… In fact, it’s impossible. In an honest attempt to inspire youths, teachers and parents will say, “You Can Be Anything and Do Anything”, as if to attach the unspoken, taboo clause that “you must also excel in those things”. And while this helps motivate children to try new things, there’s an exception to doing it all and being able to do it all well. It’s not always the best to be the jack of all trades and master of none. We are only human. I wish someone would’ve told me sooner to focus more on my strengths and sharpen those instead of going against my genetic grain and trying to succeed in doing something I am not.

5) You Are More Than Just A Pretty Face In a world that prioritizes hedonism and the perfect body, self image and eating disorders go hand in hand and are grossly dominant in our culture. With so much emphasis placed on looks, a whole lieu of insecurities began to sprout within my youth including the constant need of approval. “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting…” Lesson: Surround yourself with those who see and value your other traits as well, and thereby see and appreciate all of you.

6) The Decisions You Make Now Shape Who You Are Or, as Anberlin says in their song The Unwinding Cable Car, “It’s the choices we make that make us who we are”. You don’t become the wife, mother, or friend you want to be overnight. The decisions you make today affect who you become tomorrow. Character is built day by day.

7) You Have To Fight For Your Dreams Most good things in life are hard. They usually don’t come passively or fall from the sky. Maybe fighting for you will mean having to work that second job, make the sacrifice, stop dating losers, taking that trip, and live by faith. Whatever it is, it takes action to achieve your dreams.