The purest form of love I’ve ever witnessed is the love of God. The truth in praying for another person and experiencing your life you start to understand that, the more you focus on what love really is, you start becoming love itself. If you are not ever in the presence of love, how do you learn to love someone else.

We focus on so many different things in our lives. We can focus on the things we’re interested in, but if it is something we’re not interested in we don’t pay a whole lot of attention to the details of our lives. We want to find love, but we really don’t try to learn what it is, or focus on it. We all have different love languages, and we define it differently and expect our partner to understand our definition, and perception of things, without giving them the chance to learn why you believe what you do.

We can meditate on sports statistics, the daily news paper and the tragedies that are going on in the world. We can listen to music with negative lyrics talking about hating women and men. We can watch movies that have violence along with playing video games that illustrate war. Yet we wonder why we have the issues today in the world of war and tragedy. We fill our minds with these things and start believing these are the answers to life’s problems and they become our solutions. Of course what ever you focus on, what ever you spend your time doing, and the people you surround yourselves will influence you, and brain wash you in a sense to be programmed to function a certain way.

We have control of what we place in our minds, and becoming pure love, or unconditional love we strip away the negatives out of our lives. Changing our character, and transforming into a new person. It’s almost in a sense a rebirth. You become a new person when you decide to change your behavior patterns, your way of thinking, your way of acting out and how you react to certain situations in your life.

Most of us so called, “spiritual people” find values, morals, and lessons in love from our higher source. We try to live by our example, and service to others.

As psychologists, social workers, mental health workers, police men, doctors, and countless health care workers, we focus on helping others learn to love themselves and heal. We focus on all the healthy ways to live, instead of the negative.

Sports hero’s and players focus on becoming the champion, or being the best they can be. They have to find ways to motivate themselves to be the best teams.

We all work hard, train, and learn what we have to, to be certified, and educated to do our jobs. Fortunately when it comes to our relationships we don’t feel that we need to be certified, or educated. We usually will feel we know everything we need to know to survive. Only we don’t!

Educating ourselves on relationships and love, and maybe spiritual teachings, we learn what love is, and how we need to strip the negative things from our character that would stop us from achieving that ultimate goal of being loved by someone. Yet we don’t’ understand we can’t be loved by someone if we never strip away the negative things from our own character.

It’s an interesting thing, we can have all the money in the world, be the hottest looking man or woman, have nice clothes, and success, but we still can be the ugliest person inside. We can be beautiful on the outside, but on the inside we can be just be this horrific person. We have our inner battles. We rather just not deal with it, and we some times don’t feel that we need to deal with it. From most men I’ve met in my life I have heard a thousand times there is nothing wrong with me. Men don’t need to go the psychologist, or church, they just need to worship sports! Sports is the answer to everything! They live, and breathe sports! So than us women, we have to get smart and start learning why men love sports, and maybe there is something in their we can use ourselves with our partners.

Observing women and men that just didn’t believe in a higher purpose, and had disaster after disaster in relationships, I wondered what they had against God, and really they were missing his love and his peace. I understood there was no other way to feel love in this negative world but always learning about who God really was. Stripping away the bible thumpers and spirit of religion God was someone really awesome and had a lot to say about what pure love was. He didn’t have any favoritism in his children all over the world. He didn’t care what you looked like, what your job profession was, how much money you had. He didn’t care what other people thought.

God was just above all man’s ideas, thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions of things. His love was a higher love. I never learned that God was a terrible thing, he always taught me to be responsible for my actions and behaviors in another person’s life. He filled my heart with love and understanding for the human race as a whole. He was not a God of war and division. He didn’t not cause separation, or divorce.

I think I finally came to the conclusion that maybe when it rained, it was actually God’s tears falling on us, because he weeped for his children. God is not a controlling God, or a manipulating God. He always gave us the freedom to seek a personal relationship with him. He allowed us to do things our way, or his ways. He wasn’t forcing anyone to believe anything.

He just accepts us where we are in the minute. If we are willing and open our hearts to him, than he can work with us. It’s often said that as a child we played with toys and some times we broken them. We couldn’t fix them ourselves, so we had to ask someone to help us. We don’t want to ask for help in this world. We don’t need help. We are independent, and stubborn. We demand to do it our own way at all costs, and than we wonder why certain things happen in our world. Well when our relationships are in trouble and broken, the only person that can fix your problems is God, and yourself as well as your partner.

As one of my friends said to me one day, ” How hard is it to take someone off your friends list, and mute them.” So now when I think about it, how hard is it to turn the negative TV programs off, or the movies, or music with negative lyrics? How hard is it to do simple things, that we make so difficult? How hard it is to love someone? It’s not hard at all. It’s not hard to hold some one’s hand whether they are an infant, your partner, or and elderly person? How hard is it to say I love you? How hard it is to send some one an email? How hard is it to call someone, or take them out to lunch? How hard is it to listen to someone? How hard is it to stop for a moment to tell your partner how much you appreciate them?

We make life so difficult, and we close ourselves off from love and just choose not to love someone. We wait for someone else to love us. We will be waiting all day, because that someone may never come. So it’s easy to say well my partner isn’t doing it, so why should I? Fortunately what your partner does or doesn’t do is none of your business. It’s what you are doing? If you are doing it than maybe they will too, because they follow your lead and example.

It’s a funny thing as I learned once, how our relationships are like a graph. Our relationships can go up and down like hub pages according to whether we are interacting or responding with our partner. One day we may be hitting low and not getting much review in our relationship and others we may be sky rocketing. It should be at a balanced level every day.

The essence of pure love is becoming love, breathing it, living it, becoming one with it, and when you have, and you have God’s love in your heart, than it is easy to love someone else in a healthy way. When you burn away all the impurities inside of you, you become pure and clean. With all that gunk in there, all the baggage, we never will meet the true loving person that you are.

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